Good bye 2020

2020.. What a year it has been .. when the world stopped on its tracks! A year of pause and reset ...

I bid adieu to 2020 almost wistfully as it has been a defining year in many ways..  A year in which I deepened the connection with myself, went vegan , learnt new skills , lost weight and set some healthy routines for myself . Read some amazing books and saw beautiful stories unfold on the telly , thanks to D and her birthday gift!

They were some rewarding family milestones as well . Most importantly we stayed safe and well  

I  will miss my 2020 journal where I wrote copiously chronicling my year and the highs and lows of  navigating the year. 

I welcome 2021 , for all that it holds ....whatever that may be :)

Eye candy

An outing with S.. My local bestie and partner in all things fun !

She made an interesting observation about the pandemic.. "The town is full  of pot and pet shops, these days ', she said . The pandemic indeed had brought out the green thumb of folks along with a host of other hobbies. Pets to care for and be loved another growing pursuit .

And we went on a longish  drive to see to a  pots/plants store that had recently opened shop. S is more of a serious gardener while am  the passive one letting my greens grow as they wish !

The pretty store with an amazing variety of plants  and an array of pot options was serious eye candy . We  had made our picks for adding to the balcony and indoor spaces .

The best way out is always through

Robert Frost's longish poem "Servant to Servants" has a lonely overworked New England farm wife lamenting about her dreary life to a visitor to their land . She sage recounts her husband telling her " The best way out is always through" This immortal line , so widely recalled expresses the best way to get through life itself. No amount of side-stepping, escape or meandering will get us through .

So with our emotions , I find. Being aware of what and how we feel and acknowledging it will take us through .. No point shoving our feelings under the carpet .

Another forward that spoke to me read " If feelings could talk "  and listed what they might be trying to tell  .. If  I cared to connect to myself and listen....... While we have the  to tendency to live the happy moments thoroughly and recall it with joy , we tend to skirt , ignore , patch up or  ignore  sadness and other uncomfortable emotions .Sometimes even let it spill on others in no way connected to the same.

When we forge this strong connection with self , we no longer need to do any of it . We learn to be aware of it, accept it  , embrace it and even learn from it . We tend to grow ,drawing from them and being nurtured by them .

I find being with myself easier this way , in sync with all that I feel.. the good, bad , sad and ugly...and the best way out is indeed always through...

Chocolate

A magnet on my fridge reads " There is nothing wrong with me that a little chococlate won't fix!" - Truism :)

The uplifting aroma ,the burst of flavour and the feeling of wellness .. I could go on  ... The sugar may have something or everything to do with the high but dark chocolate also does it for me ! A warm mug of cocoa or drinking chocolate or a  go at  a  brownie/slice of cake and of course the ubiquitous candy -just the right " pick me ups " !

My friends who are bakers and those that  turned to professional 

baking in the pandemic kept it coming this season ,,, Much needed cheer in the pandemic and the happy chemicals for the brain !

Rain meter

This window that looks out to the "magic mountain" is my rain meter in the monsoons.  The South west monsoons which arrive in Kerala last days of May go on till September. Onam usually heralds a tentative closing of the monsoon festival. Then it is wait for the "Thula-varsham" towards end of October with the arrival of north east monsoon which is not as bountiful as the south west.

As I look out on waking up , I spy the kind of day it might turn out to be be. Can see  them  coming  together .,, dark clouds .. sometimes almost a tempest.. sometimes a gentle gathering .,, after a spate of rains ..clear skies with a hint of sunlight is a welcome sight too. and then there are the dramatic nights with thunder and lightning adding to the spectacle. and then there is the descent .. sometimes in gentle waves,, others a roaring arrival and the steady fall or the constant drizzle.. always a heart warming spectacle.. The rains.

Rain watching is almost a hobby for me ! 

Just sitting by the box  window to see the beauty unfold is one of the blessings I cherish !

Birthday !

 As the clock gallops swiftly , it is July again and am a year older !

For me the birthday is  about receiving love and hearing from from the precious ones in my life, who make  this meandering journey through life  worth while , meaningful and joyous . Also a time for me to reflect .. re-examine my relationship with myself.. Am I being kind to myself?  Am I slacking ? Am I happy ? Am I Grateful ? Like always .. I have lots to be grateful about .. even as the difficult year of the pandemic is upon us  halting us in our tracks .. 

And that's what I choose to celebrate this year! .. All the blessings big and small .. in this station of my life ....

Lest I forget , that the biggest blessing is Life itself.. a chance at being , feeling , doing , experiencing , expressing , caring , loving and all the myriad things we get to be and do .. Give and take .. sow and reap .. cherish and flourish, wither and wane .. bloom and blossom.....

Care is the cure.....

 In this day and age of living with WhatsApp and being bombarded by wishes , wise-cracks , wisdom, views and news  on  a daily basis by WhatsApp  University some do hit home !

This one I received as a forward , gave me enough food for thought . It is not credited to an author but offered me a comforting perspective . It is named Hymn...

It talks Care being the cure and how true is that.. It is the easiest way to heal.. any suffering ... but also the toughest way.. to know how to care for self, for others in the way they need . It requires affection, attention , consideration , trust , patience and yes love and some times a brand of tough love ...

Caring for self comes really hard for some .. They just don't know how to comfort themselves.. I read somewhere that " Suffering is loss of intimacy with I am" . It is this intimacy with self which is at the root of all Self care .. when we move away from ourselves , we suffer . and the only way to end suffering is to repair the relationship with self .. journey back to ourselves, turn inward .....when our intimacy with self is intact , we have the key to care.. we have the key to cure and heal,

Caring for others is not easy either ... wounds may be raw... hurts may be deep ... our silent presence and deep listening may be  all that its required ...time may be the key sometimes ...but for sure Care is the Cure ,,,,

Summer of 20'

 And it was May soon .. warm .... that bright summer experience.. The lockdown of April showing signs of easing .. first stage of unlock announced and some semblance of usual activity resuming ...My May of 21 was all about  activities chosen by me ,, carefully .. deliberately .. 

Signed up in a art group , thanks to S's prod.. creating art , in my case doodles and drawings gayly coloured with crayons ...,just the happy amateurish effort , I so love . 

Mid month , was Mother's Day... The kids rustling up thoughtful stuff  I absolutely cherish ! I created a sketch too .. a tribute to " Mom-dom" which makes each mom pull out stuff out her , she never knew she had in her .. Where do they draw this strength from ? To be so much more .. to go so far from their  comfort zones .. to be there unconditionally .. for their children .. day after day .. with out fail. I do know becoming  mom does make a woman grow  a few nerves of steel that gives her ability to go on .. keep going on ..loving , caring and doing the best she can ...An experience in growing up .. that makes her a different person  overnight .. some how more strong , more committed...more willing  to go any extra mile ...and she goes on .. growing ..  becoming a better version of herself.. she may fail too sometimes .. miserably .. but there is no giving up !Go Super Mom!

As the month draws to a close with the promise of the arriving monsoons . I will cherish Summer of 2021 .. the summer of pause .. of growth ... of mindfulness .. and so much to be grateful about ...

Third year in a Row :)

National Poetry writing  month hosted by Terribly Tiny Tales (TTT) returned  promptly on April 1st and the poet in me jumped for joy . 
New Prompts each day to engage in poetic expression !

This one I loved ! The prompt being "Souvenirs" ( Day -14)

A Little Rock from that river bed
A shell from that sea shore
A flower on the path
A feather that called out ...

May be
I wanted to hold the light on that river
The wind on the beach
The scent in the air
The hope i felt

Little reminders
Of the wonders I felt
Souvenirs ....

Some April That

As March progressed  , a hitherto unknown entity progressed too, rendering us in a lock-down by the end of the month ..

And there was  April !.....

An unprecedented one ...
 Unlimited family time, work from home , relaxed meal hours ( which sometimes turned out to be the highlight of the day ) , Limited outings for essentials , and curtailed social interactions .
A forced hikikomori experience .

Being blessed to be isolated with the best lot , my own family .. I soaked in the little joys...Thanks to the connected world we live in, my best peeps were just a ping away ...
Grateful about this  time to pray and ponder, write , read , doodle, cook, eat healthy , exercise  and yes the inevitable cleaning and keeping house . Soulful web series & movies  kept amazing company too ... A much relished "pause" experience ...

And then there were unfailing sunrises , cool mornings giving way to hot noons , clouds gathering to burst into pre-monsoon showers, gently setting dusks and full moon nights ....

As April gives way to May , and there are questions about how and when things will return to normal.  Something I read resonated with me ." Use this time to consider which parts of normal are worth rushing back to "

I for sure will take my time .........

Summer is arriving

Its March and the year is marching on at  a menacing pace... Summer is setting in briskly and as i sat sipping my tea  in the balcony with some pretty blooms for company , do wonder  what the summer holds...

'Its a time i look forward to.. winding down of the school term, holidays , activities with kids & trips and a chance to get -away and travel....
Yes the Longish March needs to be negotiated first :)

This year the school and the college schedules pose a conflict making me wistful for times when the girls were younger !

Tea times and solitude  are like that !
A chance to time travel .. I remind myself to take in the beauty of the moment.. with its sun dappled beauty & soft breeze .Plans for summer can wait :)

Temple on a Hillock

A Beautiful dusk saw us ride up a hillock to reach the Trikkur Mahadeva Temple.. Abode of Lord Siva popularly called the Thrikkur Appan.

Steeped in antiquity temple  dates back to the 7th -8th century ..

It is cut out of rocks with the sanctum inside a natural cave... being at an altitude it  offers breathtaking views of the surrounding hamlets steeped in green.

On most days its visited only by locals ensuring you have deep and silent communion with the Lord . The lord is famed to cure breathing diseases...

A trip to this temple , I await, for its a good ride away from home and the drive up the hillock is a sublime experience. The chance to be in front of the Lord , un-rushed is priceless. The beauty of the temple itself is astounding as it  nestles among the rocks .. the rocks around the temple could be climbed and there an inscription of a chess board on the rock with a folk lore that suggests Siva and Parvati were once playing when a disturbance caused them to retreat to the cave below , staying there for ever....

And that dusk was rendered special with the painted skies., fading light ,   the surroundings slowly preparing for night fall, the sanctum lit by lamps and the Serene Lord ...

Trip much awaited

Turn of the decade !
2020 Be kind :)

The beginning of the year brought for me a much awaited/coveted travel to be with my besties !
Four days off from home .. following my heart !
Reconnecting .. in person after a while ..
listening , moon watching , sharing ...
being loved :)
Much love, conversation , fun , food and  good times ..
Just the type that makes you feel well and whole 💓